


I Love You In All The Dangerous Ways

by dramedies (ivymantle)



Category: Pop Music RPF, f(x)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Vampire, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-13
Updated: 2013-08-13
Packaged: 2017-12-23 08:19:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/924036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivymantle/pseuds/dramedies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Choi Jinri wanted her life to be more complicated, and that's exactly what she gets when she meets Soojung.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love You In All The Dangerous Ways

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for augmenti for ambitiousgirls' New Year fic exchange on LJ. Very vague vampiric period au; sort of inspired by let me in and Leonora Carrington's _The Debutant_ (but without the hyena, sadly).

“You’re nearly a lady now, so it’s time to start watching out for yourself and your status.” Her mother says to her one fine Spring morning, just after informing her that in the coming weeks she is to co-host her first “official” soirée.

Jinri knows that typically her mother would have omitted the “yourself” part of that statement, but the string of rather high profile murders – young girls, found in alleyways, practically mauled and drained of nearly all their blood – that had happened as of late managed to earn herself almost as much importance as her status. But Jinri also recognizes the bite in her mother’s tone; those girls – victims – did not watch out for themselves, like proper ladies would.

But being a lady is not just watching out for oneself. Being a lady is simultaneously too stressful and too dreary. It is constantly having to worry about coiffed hair and painted lips and the right color and texture coordination of one’s skirts. It is appearing coy - but not too coy; it is being homely enough but also glamorous enough to seem a suitable wife for a man of just the right status and wealth. It is dinnerware and table linens; it is curtains and chase lounges. It is stressful. It is dreary. It is frightening.

Choi Jinri does not want to be a lady.

She does not want sticky rouge on her lips and cheeks, or itchy skirts that she longs to hike up. She does not want a suitable husband who will only care for her in public, or a circle of catty lady friends who call for tea at all the right times. She wants freedom, and adventure. She does not want monotony; she wants complicated, she wants the unknown. She wants to _find_ the unknown, even if she doesn’t exactly know how.

But she never suspects that one day, the unknown will find her.

 

Her mother doesn’t approve of her going to the park, especially unaccompanied. That’s probably the reason – or at least a reason – why she loves it so much. It’s easy enough to make frequent escapes from luncheons or fittings or dance class – all it really takes is feigned illness and something to bribe her disapproving maid, Sunyoung, with, and she’s free for most of the day.

The park itself is typical enough; blooming flowers, reaching trees, vast expanses of green grass eager for picnicking couples or frolicking dogs. There are benches, too; plenty of benches. There is one in particular, near a smaller patch of grass lined by a few young oak trees, that Jinri favors, and spends most of her time lounged on.

Typically she just watches the people around her. She thinks about their lives; their dreams, their obstacles, their general lack of overbearing mothers with champagne-addled brains. It soothes her, somehow, to think about the potential adventures of others that she can take no part in.

It is during one of these “grand” park escapes that Jinri first meets her, on an unusually warm Spring day.

She had managed to bring a paperback along with her when she slipped out the back of her family’s home, but the heat made it far too difficult to concentrate on actually _reading_ it; the glare of sunlight on the contrasting paper and print made her eyes sting. Instead, she utilized it as a makeshift fan to try and fend off heat stroke as she watched passersby move through the park.

She soon spaces off enough to not notice when one those passersby moves away from the meandering crowd to sit next to her. The stranger stares for a moment – watching Jinri watch people – before clearing their throat abruptly.

Jinri starts, her book dropping to the ground as she immediately switches her attention from the people in front of her to the person next to her. She finds a girl, roughly her own age, smiling – or smirking? – at her. The only thing properly visible to Jinri is her face – and even that is shadowed by the wide brim of her hat. The rest of her is shielded by dark, gauzy layers and a curtain of her equally dark hair.

“I’m Soojung,” the strange, smirky stranger says simply. She extends a hand out to Jinri, but Jinri drops it almost immediately when she goes to shake it; it feels more as if she just grabbed at a block of ice rather than a human hand.

She blinks away her shock. “I’m Jinri. Choi Jinri.”

Soojung doesn’t offer up a last name. “You come here a lot.”

“Hmm?”

“Here, the park. This bench. I’ve seen you here a few times.” Soojung elaborates, her gaze fixed on Jinri.

“Oh, yes.” Jinri nods, trying not to late this strange girl faze her so much. “It’s… the most fun place I know of.”

Soojung’s smirk returns to her face. “Really?” She asks, her tone somewhat disbelieving.

“Really,” Jinri answers with a sheepish smile. “It’s about as far away from my mother as I can get, and that’s where things tend to be the most fun.” But she feels a slight pang of guilt for talking about her mother like that to a complete strange, so she adds with a laugh, “But I guess everyone feels that way about their mother, huh?”

Soojung just stares at her for a moment, and then shrugs. “I really wouldn’t know.” She says before bending down to pick Jinri’s since abandoned off the ground.

Jinri’s eyebrows scrunch up, and she mulls that over for a moment, her hands immediately falling on top of the paperback when Soojung gently places it back in her lap. “What do you mean, you really wouldn’t know?”

“It’s complicated” Soojung says simply, her tone faintly dismissive as she hands Jinri her book back.

She’s scooting away as if she means to leave, and Jinri lets out a sigh.

“I wish my life were more complicated,” she mutters on the tails of that sigh, and suddenly Soojung’s attention is back full force.

She grins at Jinri wildly, and even in her state of perturbation, Jinri finds herself genuinely smiling back.

 

From then on, Soojung comes to sit with Jinri whenever she manages to escape to the park. They manage talk for hours at a time – or really, Jinri talks and Soojung listens, her slightly mocking face from their first meeting fading away as she takes in Jinri’s anecdotes of her boring life.

Eventually, they move away from the bench; Jinri has no reason to stay there now that she’s been drawn away from people watching, and actually has things to engage in other than daydreaming. They go for walks around the park, and even venture out to the little shops and restaurants that lie sandwiched between the exit gates and the residential neighborhoods that lie beyond.

Jinri notices plenty of strange little quirks as she and Soojung grow closer. Soojung claims to be younger than her, but something about her consistently nonchalant looks and the general way she carries herself make Jinri doubt that. Her dark, full coverage wardrobe never changes, and she never touches her food when she treats Jinri to lunch at that cute little outdoor café. He touch is always icy even in the lingering heat that leaves Jinri sweating. She always rushes Jinri home the moment the sun starts to set – long before she even has to chance to realize that yes, she really _should_ be getting home.

But Soojung never says anything about the fact that Jinri is constantly pulling her knees up to her chest and yawning with her mouth wide open. She never rolls her eyes at Jinri’s complaints or laughs at her wild descriptions of the adventures she longs to have. She is bizarre, but she understands Jinri far more than anyone she’s met in her life. So she decides that maybe it’s best to point out Soojung’s oddities when Soojung seems keen enough to fully accept hers.

And then, somewhere along the line, Jinri decides – or maybe realizes – that she is in love with this strange, strange girl, and that maybe her life is a little more complicated than she had originally assumed.

 

The day before her “big” soiree, Jinri is lying next to Soojung in a wide patch of grass. It’s usually a popular spot with picnicking couples, but there’s no one here today and the lack of other occupants only worsens her already sour mood. She sighs.

“What’s wrong?” Soojung asks from under the shadow of her typical wide-brimmed hat.

“I have to host a party tomorrow night,” Jinri mumbles, feeling more as if she’s preparing to have her teeth pulled.

Soojung laughs, and turns her head just so Jinri knows she can see her face, even if Jinri can’t see hers. “You sound miserable, Jinri. Aren’t parties supposed to be fun?”

“I wouldn’t really know,” Jinri does her best to impersonate Soojung’s listless tone, a slight smile crossing her.

All her mocking earns is a snort from Soojung as she reaches a hand out to flick Jinri lightly. Jinri laughs, but then a thought crosses her mind and she goes back to her glowering.

“I feel like this party is going to change everything. I _know_ it’s going to change everything. From tomorrow on, it’s going to be being a lady full time, and dealing with my mother constantly until she manages to marry me off….”

Soojung stays silent – probably because she knows Jinri isn’t finished venting.

“Any hope for me having actual adventures is long gone now….”

Still silence.

“And, well…. I don’t know if I’d be able to see you again?…”

She’s done then, flushing slightly after that rushed final statement. But Soojung is still silent for a long moment. It’s not until Jinri is heartstoppingly certain that she’s made a fool of herself thinking such a thought would bother Soojung that the other girl sits up abruptly.

“Well, what if I came to this little party of yours?”

Jinri blinks at her, entirely uncertain if she’s serious or joking – it’s always hard to tell with Soojung.

“Really…?”

“Of course!” Soojung exclaims, typical grin tracing her face. “I’m not much of a dancer, and I don’t exactly know if I’d fit in with your crowd, but I could certainly try to make conversation.”

With a laugh, Jinri nods. “Yes, you should definitely come, then.”

Then Soojung suddenly leans forward, resting her weight on her hands so she can look Jinri directly in the eye, their faces just inches apart. “And then, I’m going to steal you away from this life of parties and mothers and marriage, and we’re going to run away and have adventures entirely unfit for two ladies such as ourselves.” She says with a wink.

At this point, Jinri is sure that Soojung has to be joking, but she appreciates the effort enough to grin and continue playing along. Even as she’s making her way home amongst the elongated shadows, she knows she’ll always value the bittersweet memory of their metaphorical adventures together.

 

“You won’t be going to the park anymore,” Jinri’s mother says just after she wakes her up the next morning. When Jinri just stares at her in groggy confusion, she adds, “Sunyoung told me what you’ve been doing these past few weeks, and I found out _just_ how many tea invitations you’ve been missing.”

Jinri sighs, trying to pat down her bedhead as she wriggles out from underneath the warmth of her blankets. She should have known that would have happened; Sunyoung had been getting increasingly annoyed every time Jinri pleaded with her to keep everyone away from her room while she was out.

“There will be no more of that after tonight, I hope you know that. It’s time to start taking things seriously, Jinri. You’re not a child anymore, you’re a fully grown lady. Please at least _start_ remembering to act like one.”

“Yes, mother,” is all Jinri says in return, sighing once more.

The silence lingers for a moment, her mother continuing to look down at her with that typical look of disapproval. Finally, after fidding with some of the trinkets on Jinri’s bedside table, she leaves.

No one visits her for the rest of the day; after breakfast, Jinri is entirely alone. Not even Sunyoung – probably not wanting to face Jinri after ratting her out – comes up to help prepare what she plans on wearing for the night, leaving Jinri to sluggishly get ready on her own.

 

She’s busy putting very little initiative into her appearance when she hears the slight click that she knows to be her balcony door closing. She whirls around in her vanity seat, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape in case she needs to scream, and stops short when she finds Soojung standing by the door.

Her typical dark layers are gone entirely, and her dark sheath of hair is pulled back so Jinri can see her face more clearly than she thinks she ever has. She’s just as smirky as ever.

“What are you doing here?” Jinri gasps, and then a million other questions hit her hard, but she’s only able to vocalize one other: “ _How_ did you get here?”

“Well, I _did_ promise you that I’d come to your party.” Soojung says matter-of-factly. “… But you never gave me an invitation, you silly thing.” She shrugs. “So made my entrance another way. Your trellis is terribly easy to climb.”

Jinri is still gaping when Soojung walks over to her, picking up a powder brush from off the vanity and feigning interest in it until Jinri actually speaks.

“I thought you were joking.”

“What?” Soojung laughs. “No, I wouldn’t joke about something like that. You looked like this really meant a lot to you.”

Jinri is touched to know that her wonderfully bizarre Soojung would do something so wonderfully bizarre for her, but there are still a million questions dancing in her head and puzzle pieces with no place to go. She never thought to try to climb her trellis, which had always looked haphazard and deadly to her. And why had Soojung suddenly ditched her signature wardrobe, as lovely as this new look was?… And hadn’t Jinri locked the door to her balcony just that afternoon?

Soojung breaks her train of thought, abruptly asking “You _do_ want me here…. Right?” She was staring at Jinri intensely.

Jinri only pauses for a moment, despite the slow creeping apprehension that she only vaguely remembered from their first meeting. “Yes… yes! Of course I do!”

The light makes its way back to Soojung’s face, and she grins happily. “Good!” She tossed the brush back onto the vanity and clapped her hands together. “So, what first? Party, or adventure?”

“Adventure?” Jinri repeats dumbly, her face falling into confusion once more.

Soojung lets out an exasperated sigh – though one far less dismissive than the last that Jinri heard from her – and leans against the vanity, looking Jinri square in the eye. “Yes, Jinri. Adventure. When I said I was serious, I mean I was serious about _everything_.” She fidgets a bit before continuing, “I’ve come to enjoy your company a lot over the past couple weeks, and I’m not too keen on the idea of losing you to something you don’t even want…” She trails off, a smile much lighter than usual crossing her face. “So! Adventure it is.”

Jinri blinks up at her as she speaks, heard pounding in her chest. A wash of happiness overrides her hesitation, and she suddenly longs to reach out and take hold of Soojung’s hand, even knowing how icy it’s bound to be. Instead, she simply leaps up and grins in return to Soojung’s smile.

“Adventure it is,” She agrees, nodding firmly. “But, I really _should_ make an appearance at this party of mine first. Sate my mother a bit before I disappoint her entirely?”

“Then we should certainly make an appearance,” Soojung says with one of her smirks.

“Right, I just have to finish changing, then…” Jinri mutters, a little awkwardly. She still hasn’t changed into her party dress, which awaits her in her closet.

“Oh! Yeah, okay. Let me just…” Soojung backs away from the vanity, turning back towards the balcony slightly as if she expects Jinri to drop her current clothes right there.

“I’ll be right back,” Jinri laughs, still rather clumsily, and shuffles into the large closet. She’s halfway through slipping into her dress when an audible knock on her bedroom door and a familiar voice causes her to freeze.

“Jinri, are you ready yet? Your mother’s sent me to fetch you and bring you downstairs; the guests are starting to arrive.” Sunyoung opens the door without waiting for an answer, and Jinri has no idea what to do.

“Just a moment, please!” Jinri squeaks, waiting for the yelling and questioning and calling for her mother.

But all there is is silence, and Jinri can only think that maybe Soojung managed to hide or slip out just as quickly and noiselessly as she managed to sneak up on Jinri. But then suddenly in the midst of that silence there’s a sharp intake of breath, followed by a strangely wet crunch that Jinri has no idea what to make of. Then more silence.

She apprehensively eases open her closet door, and peeks into the bedroom. The horror of what she sees causes her to nearly fall the rest of the way out of the closet.

Sunyoung is visibly dead in the middle of the room, her eyes glassy and blank. There is a gaping wound on her neck that is staining a nasty crimson spot on her normally powder pink carpet.

“I killed her,” Was Soojung’s answer to the stark questioning on Jinri’s face.

“ _Why_?” Jinri shoots back frantically, edging past the quickly spreading stain around her maid – former maid? – ‘s corpse.

“I think I remember you saying you weren’t too fond of her? And she surely would have caused enough alarm to make our exit… unpleasant.” Soojung shrugs nonchalantly before a slight sheepishness spread across her face. “And I was a little bit thirsty…”

“Thirsty.” Jinri repeats, staring nowhere in particular as everything starts to dawn on her. “So that’s what you…”

“I really wanted to tell you before I _showed_ you, believe me.” Soojung mumbles. Her face is still slightly contorted in that awkward ‘caught red-handed’ expression.

“Are you going to do that to me as well?” The words leave Jinri’s mouth before she has a chance to stuff them back in.

Soojung’s expression immediately softens, and she takes a step towards the taller girl. Jinri does not back away, defying a very strong part of her screaming to do just that. Instead she just stares as Soojung tries to offer her one of those rare, soft smiles. Her gaze fixes on the tiny, barely visible speck of blood lingering at the corner of Soojung’s otherwise spotless mouth.

“Like I said, I’ve come to enjoy your company quite a bit… I don’t want to lose that. I don’t do _that_ ,” she nods at Sunyoung’s corpse, “to people I enjoy.”

“And how many people fall into that category?” It’s another question Jinri can’t reign in before it’s asked.

“You would be the first.” Soojung’s smile shies a bit, but her words and expression resonate with Jinri nonetheless.

The final piece of the mess of a puzzle playing out in Jinri’s head falls into place, and she feels like she may finally understand – as much as she can understand, anyway.

She had wanted complicated. She had wanted adventure. And part of that package certainly had to include being brave in the face of danger, especially in the face of dangerous things that didn’t expect you to be a lady or an excellent host or anything other than Choi Jinri; the dangerous things that you happened to love.

She raises a hand to Soojung’s face, using the pad of her thumb to swipe away that tiny hint of lingering blood from the corner of her mouth. She rubs her index finger against the transferred stain, smearing Sunyoung’s blood into her own skin until it is no longer visible.

Finally, a smile of her own answers Soojung’s.

“Besides, you owe me an adventure.” She says simply.

That shy, worried smile of Soojung’s twists into its usual wicked grin. “That’s right, I do… though I think the party option may be off the table, now.”

Jinri just laughs, wild and blithe. She mimics a typical Soojung shrug, “I hate parties, anyway.”

Looking up at her, Soojung takes Jinri’s hand in her own, lacing their fingers together; icicles that Jinri has finally found herself warming to. They smile at each other, and make their way out onto the balcony and into a night that promises to make their lives as complicated as they could ever dream.


End file.
